Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
be right there i have to get my cape
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
