My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
