look no pants
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
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It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
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There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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