I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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