Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
third nipple confirmed
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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