Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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