i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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