At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
