planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
