Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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