Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
