so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
