I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
