you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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