Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
