with your own penis?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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