Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
