I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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