get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
