i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
