she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
