I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
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My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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