I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
