I just saw a hot homeless man
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I had to cum in my sink.
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