i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
