You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
