'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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