Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
