i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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