u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
They took my balls.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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