I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
handjob tips. give me some.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
