the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
