if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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