meet me or not, i'm out of control
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
