We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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