Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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