if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
