I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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