I look better un-naked...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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