Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
