i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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