so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
