He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
