My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
