im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize