I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
