it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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