Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
