bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
