i just had sex bonerless
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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