The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
