break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I can text with my tongue
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
