You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
