Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
so much tequila, so little girl.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
