It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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