so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
