yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
