Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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