just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize