White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She's the barista slut.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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