just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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