Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
